I'm pedaling as fast as I can!
February 10, 2008
We need a moratorium on new games. A six-month respite for game makers. A hearty thank-you and job-well-done to all game designers and developers worldwide. And by "thank-you" I mean six months of paid leave and a promise of NO NEW GAMES. Who should I talk to in order make this happen?
Because, the thing is, I desperately need time. I'm in a sinkhole of unplayed, half-played, and overlooked games, and that hole is getting deeper by the day. If I don't get that moratorium soon, I may never be able to climb out.
I just did some math (always a feat for a theater major), and my calculations add up to a daunting realization. I need roughly 680 hours to finish the games currently sitting on my shelf. That's four solid hours of gaming a day (highly optimistic with a family and other responsibilities) for six months. No holidays. No days off.
It's not that I feel a nagging obligation to finish these games. I *want* to finish them. I bought each one fully intending to complete it, and I can't let that go. No matter how many new games I place at the top of my dance card, in the back of my mind lurks the hopeful thought that I remain committed to finishing God of War, Civ IV or Day of the Tentacle. I've never played GTA3. It sits in its original shrink-wrap unopened. So does Metal Gear Solid 2, Ratchet and Clank and...big confession time...Final Fantasy VII - a game I know all about but have never actually played myself.
How does this happen? Here's a recent example of exactly how: I play and finish No More Heroes and post an essay praising its developer, Grasshopper, and creator Suda Goichi. A knowledgeable reader writes me to say that if I want to see a prototype of the NMH combat system in action, I should check out a previous Grasshopper game, Samurai Champloo. Of course I do, so I rent the game through Gamefly and begin playing it.
In another post I bemoan the demise of Clover Studios, makers of Okami (which I've played but not finished), and another helpful reader informs me that if I'm a fan of Clover and Grasshopper, then I simply must play the highly underrated God Hand, a Clover game with strong aesthetic connections to Suda. Bad reviews put me off this game when it was released, but now I'm very interested. Another Gamefly rental. Meanwhile, I discover that a couple of Suda games never released in the States are coming on the DS, and of course I've *got* to get my hands on them too. Then there's the new Wii version of Okami...
See what I mean?
All of this is great fun, of course, and I don't mean to suggest any sense of drudgery, but my gaming life has come to resemble an epic RPG with a main storyline (play the new stuff and try to keep up) and many side quests (play the old stuff and fill those gaps). In an odd and ironically twisted way, I'm happy when the bad games come out, grateful for the chance to skip them so I can finally load up Oblivion and check out the Shivering Isles. And I haven't even mentioned all the indie titles I'd like to take for a spin. Oy.
I'm pedaling as fast as I can with no finish line in sight. Maybe this ride has no destination. Maybe the real point is to relax and enjoy the scenery. Or maybe I'm on a stationary bike and nobody's told me. Or maybe I'm the bike and Miyamoto is the wind. Somebody stop me before I hurt myself.
Anybody else on this ride?